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My Journal 24. – Nonverbal

persons hand doing thumbs up

Hi dear friends , if you know me from past 10 months i have been blogging i write a lot about parenting and many other things .Also have started journaling where i talk about those topics from life and around i think about or feel , But what after all this I tell you I am mostly a kind of nonverbal person when it comes to expressing or interactions in real life , let me clear i have no disorders or development delays this is mainly the way i was brought up with my relations , my social interactions and my home environment and rules as i grew up.

This led me to build this version of myself with time which became more of non verbal , sometimes i think or process so much i hold my need to respond at that time , sometimes i want to express- feeling many things inside just don’t know which one to express, sometimes the lack of time frame i want to say it lengthy but in a limited time and words it just doesn’t fit , Sometimes i feel my words wont communicate what i exactly want to say and the reason goes on….This one of those reasons i don’t drop in comments though i enjoy , admire and learn a lot from all your posts. Pardon me for that but i equally am one of your followers even if i just press the like and not mention in comment.

Me being non verbal has lots of disadvantages people sometimes take of you being less human , sometimes less connectable , sometimes too strong because you dont speak of your problems, sometimes egoistic because you dont connect to around. Though with my kids i keep interacting and talking but this nature of mine has helped keep my emotions from them at bay .I sometimes need to tell them clearly i too get tired , bored , frustrated and need a time out. I came across this quote in Facebook which actually motivated me to write this.

Many people might be doing , feeling , observing , appreciating , following but just because they dont respond verbally or present themselves through their words doesn’t mean they lack all of that .Sometimes this is what gives them strength to express through art in some form , reflect , think , analyze or show through actions of love and care. Yes i am working on it , but after sometime i am back to being real me .This many a times happens with people around us those that are nonverbal or hold back much of what they say , next time you meet someone like this just don’t misjudge them for their nonverbal nature or term them – untalkative, uncommunicative, quiet, unresponsive, secretive, silent, tight-lipped, close mouthed ,mute ,dumb ,inarticulate ,reserved ,withdrawn ,introverted,shy,antisocial,unsociable,distant,aloof,stand-offish,cold,detached…Because we are none of this .

In spite of all this i am very strong at expressing or standing up for my beliefs when time demands or situation arise .I never hold my thoughts while fighting unjust or standing up against wrong or standing up for others , just that when i need to express i feel short of words in daily life. Yes many a times we are around our loved ones and we want to say or feel a lot about them but never able to say it that too is nonverbal. Sometimes the stress of changing times , growing responsibility and burden of life makes one nonverbal. Sometimes you have become so habituated to this virtual world or lifestyle you find it difficult to connect to others .Yes all of it is adding to all of us being nonverbal around our loved ones. Still lets make an effort to connect do best we can to connect and make others feel connected .Yes that are people with actual difficulties or kids with disorder and development delay that makes them non verbal but we too need to understand them and their feelings.

To end with i remembered this scenes and character from my daughter’s animation movie list “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs“. Where the character Flint’s taciturn but caring¬†technophobic fisherman¬†father -Tim lockwood, felt a lot for his son through out his sons life but could not verbalize his feelings which his son misunderstood . At the end the pet monkey Steves speaking and translating device was put on his head where it spoke all that he was thinking but never spoke to his son about how he was proud of his son.

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Painting complete picture

painted concrete block on embankment

Some deep lessons that the pandemic has taught us , how we are interdependent on each other for existence, How a fall in one part effects every other linked , We are in it together and we have to be out of it also together .This has somewhat changed the mindset about race and blame game. There is no point in racing your own kind. No matter the differences we have , need to make a collaborative effort to survive , grow and live .

The media has influenced many to have this debate on every other topic and form biased opinions. More of the energy is spent in just contradicting or putting another down. There is no serious effort to focus to work together fearing the other will take a bigger bite.

Nowadays more than what you say People highlight what you are not saying or just didn’t include in. Does that mean what we say at a moment forms a complete picture or Does that mean we don’t value the other side or Does that mean we are unaware of the other aspects. No, it just means right now we didn’t speak about it ,right now we were just expressing one of those many thoughts in the head.

Sometimes nobody is trying to disregard your viewpoint or being insensitive or being biased its one of their many thoughts or viewpoints .We say don’t judge a book by its cover or don’t jump to conclusions but in actual we not only form opinions quickly but even pass judgments instantly.

Somethings widely common with debates or discussions nowadays .Proving others wrong doesn’t make you all that right. Picking up words and putting them out of context to show another down . Rebelling is just pointing one another than tackle the problem. What is lacking is a solution mindset and able to respect the best in every perspective .Debates and discussion to have more problem solving attitude and work towards paint a more complete picture.

A single perspective is never enough to make a complete picture. Some find inspirations , some search for other angles , some ask for others perspective, some work together. Its never the best of the world unless its best of both worlds .There is always an attempt to find flaws or cracks in others vision or thoughts , as if ones is perfectly fine. Why cant it be a collaboration but always end is confliction. If the aim is for a solution just pulling down one another doesnt work. We are in it together and we have to be out of it also together.