Building Good Conduct

selective focus photography of child s hand

The most difficult fights of our lives have always to begin from within we taking the first step of courage or a decision to stand up against it . This step is the most important point which decides your further life and decisions . These fights are the most difficult when one is alone and they on their own to face against the challenges . But to know to stand up , to know ones right , to be knowledge about right and wrong , to know exactly what’s acceptable and what’s crossing limits becomes a major factor to decide the necessity to stand up in times of distress . The best we can do prepare of younger generation for life is make them aware of these things not only for self but when it comes to respecting others boundaries as well. This cant be just put through words but through practice in routine and daily conduct around our homes , peers and socially. Sometimes knowing is not enough to be able to practice through conduct becomes more important to make it part of our lives than just in preaching.

To imbibe the right conduct is very much influenced by the environment in which one grows up or is exposed to . This just doesn’t come by setting down rules to follow but more by seeing , observing , others response to ones emotions , needs or reactions. As parents it becomes a great responsibility to follow , exhibit and practice a good conduct also when dealing with kids in their times of unexpected or stubborn behavior . Instead of we reacting to their difficult reactions , we need to help them calm show them how they can get control over their overwhelming emotions by helping them do so repeatedly . Doing so helps them to understand and develop the capability to get better control over their extreme emotions and regulating their emotions . Instead of reacting in a stern way or angrily which may suppress the emotions temporarily or create more opposition , but develops the same kind of response in them to another’s feeling or emotions . It may also develop behaviors in them to exhibit similar kind of response to their peers or siblings where they feel in control of power.

We are a mix up of many feelings and thoughts , our responses and reactions also vary no matter how hard we try to control to them . But following a conduct and defining certain rules for self makes it easy to have better control of what one may speak or behave . How you carry yourself everywhere and how you behave in various situations , which part of you stays and active is what gets reflected most times. A good conduct keeps check on times when we are not best of ourselves or stressed . this conduct creates a boundary we don’t easily cross even at the toughest of situations. Following a conduct within homes , between family members , how we treat others , our attitude towards others problems , practicing gratitude and respecting views and differences , asking for help or offering ones help. A good conduct helps to build a atmosphere and respectable way of getting across ones view . It makes the listener more attentive , patient to listen to others view without much opposition or negativity. A good conduct forms the base for discussion , communication and connections without creating pressures of making another follow ones decision or requirement alone. It allows exchange of thoughts , ideas and needs without the fear of facing a negative response .

This conduct many a times speaks about ones upbringing , background , environment though not restricted to these factors alone many develop a conduct as they move or progress in life with learning , education ,career ,status or positions. But these can be a times influenced by Conduct disorder in children and adolescents which are due to many factors like biological , environmental or phycological. They may exhibit some of the following behavior’s like bullying , aggression , theft, violation of rules, destruction of property , cruelty to others or animals, exhibiting consistent misbehavior. If not treated they can develop into anti social adults. It is treated through psychotherapy, cognitive behavior therapy , family therapy and parent management training also in some conditions medications are used for depression , impulse or attention problems. Many children with a conduct disorder may have coexisting conditions such as mood disorders, anxiety, PTSD, substance abuse, ADHD, learning problems, or thought disorders which can also be treated. .Though diagnosis can be made by professionals only as the symptoms of ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), and similar conditions often look like the symptoms of conduct disorder. But are triggered and have different reasons or patterns also actions are not backed by cruelty like in case of conduct disorder. A therapy that involves parents and children to recognize patterns and act on the symptoms is trained .

The way one conducts self and the family environment has much impact on the conduct of the younger members . Sometimes understanding the right reason , the pattern , following the rules , explaining consequences , training them , regularly helping them by following a method to calm or gain better control and at the most not overreacting or responding taking it personally and keeping one self under control while dealing with extreme situations. Following a good conduct and mindset helps one to behave in mindful and calm ways which gets reflected in the other when they respond . Also having a good conduct influences children around us who are watching even when we are not interacting with them directly as they are learning from seeing us behave at various scenarios, thus modelling good behaviors in them.

5 thoughts on “Building Good Conduct

  1. Very apt article…most parents innindian sub continent fail to realise this issue….a child’s growth is related to the questions he or she is allowed to ask…Yes, parents or teachers may not have all the answers but ‘ shut up’ is certainly not one of them… A child learns most from what he sees…the elders got to be careful in this aspect …
    Always good to read your thoughts Gayatri..

    Stay blessed 🙏😇

    1. Yes very nicely put ,we need to comfort them and teach them . children do not learn to calm and self regulate , children become capable of calming and self regulation through consistent experience of having been calmed by caring adults.

    2. Thank you🙂 for giving your thoughts and taking time to read my posts always. Your experience and thoughts add more depth to it.