Many a times as parents confronted with difficult situation with child at various ages of development, we have come to terms with other facets of development too. We would try to find factors beyond our control to have influenced the child
- The child wasn’t so before, was bright or excelled in academics or sports or arts, this is the first time to have heard a unpleasant remark about the child .
- It must be the new social circle the child is hanging around with.
- It must be the technology and exposure to contents not appropriate for age
- It must be new phase of growth child is going through.
- The media content today which the child is exposed through tv , movies or videos
Well there could be numerable reasons to have influenced the child that puts you in a situation of disapproval yet wanting to be able make it right.
Its never too late but its better we be preemptive in preparing ourselves to talk and train our children age wise – socially , morally , individually .With different stages of growth and ages , challenges with parenting and approach varies as they are continuously changing and exposed to different spectrums of human emotions and connections both at individual and social level.
There are certain milestones like the 8 years and teens are found to be more troublesome from parenting point of view .The main reason being the drastic changes and transition in the Childs emotions, mindset, social, physical development. We need to prepared for these times by creating a strong bond of communication which can only be build by giving them enough time and involvement right from start also in the process make sure to imbibe moral values .These cant be achieved in a day just because something has to be sorted out .There has to be continuous effort in daily life to make a connection that helps you to form the base for these milestones that are sure to come.
The easier way due to lack of time , challenges in current age of work and home balance , increasing stress of job security and performance is to face the issues as when it arise or let children deal on their own .Another major problem adding to our generation is screen time which has led to lack of emotional bonding where everything is dealt at outward level but lacks connection as most of us are unconsciously or actually hooked to our screen. We take them to park but our eyes fixed on screen , we are giving our opinion scrolling our mobile, we strike a conversation but find something interesting to cut off mid .
The effort to put off the device and actually make a meaningful conversation trying to find out their thought how it needs to be changed if needed , making the most of the current scenario they are part of at the moment to make development, observing them closely when at study , play , home or with friends and finding ways to get across your inputs for the child development is very much needed. This needs continuous effort and areas to focus on change with development, but expecting to focus on the difficult years alone and not making an effort to connect or know them before these years will make those years even a greater challenge.
The different ages need to have different focus or approach as parents .What seemed really good and in control at one point may seem out of place – changes in attitude, response and behavior from a child can annoy the parents. But that’s all part of development if they are questioning or rebelling or find you interfering or annoying you have to try your best to discuss or find ways to make it clear or address such issues at the correct age .
Leaving for changes to take its course can have a serious impact of lifetime which then will be difficult to deal with or change , so it better we deal it at right time and right age so that both are prepared for next development coming up. Now that doesn’t mean restricting , monitoring or controlling them contniuously.But well thought efforts will always be needed considering the Childs growth and development in particular stage.
Every child is different and how they react to the development will also be different. Kids who excel in academics , sports or arts find way through these when moving through difficult times but children with difficulty or special needs have already much to deal with and this adds to the pressure . So it becomes more of the parents responsibility to be prepared , observe and make a continuous and preemptive effort.Some kids are introvert and would not discuss or be open to your interference but if a bond of trust is made it can be easy to get across to them.
Cultural influence also play a major role in these development stages there is different rendering when it comes to boy or girl child. How they are allowed to embrace and react to changes in self is very much controlled based on gender . Also some give sole importance to achievements of children whether in academics , sports , arts ignoring other parts of life social and emotional development that too needs to be addressed as parts of development tends to get ignored.
Only an open approach, necessity and finding time to make proper interventions and take preemptive steps, with forming a good communication link ,based on emotional bonding help both the parent and child to overcome challenges of these difficult stages of the child. After all we all have been there some point in our life and wished for the same.